It’s been a long couple of months. I’m not sure what happened to cause so much confusion between My Boo and I, but I sure am glad we’re past it.
One day, out the clear blue sky, he just started acting funny towards me. The letters stopped altogether. And, when we were on the phone, he seemed so distant, and annoyed. For about a week, I just chalked it up to “prison blues” and kept doing me. Eventually, he started asking me the same question everyday, “Do you have something you want to tell me”? I knew in my heart what that meant. But, I am a certified denial queen. So, I just kept telling him no and acting like nothing was wrong.
The next thing I knew, we were in the middle of the second argument of our relationship. It got much worse than it should have mostly because I was so insulted that this man was accusing me of betraying him, but giving me no details whatsoever. After he hung up in my face, that’s when the texting war between us began (Yes, texts).After texting back and forth for hours, he finally gave me enough information to at least have an idea as to why we were arguing. I could not believe this man, the love of my life, was accusing me of being unfaithful to him, based on some “call-home, he-say-she-say” from someone who does nothing for him.
After taking time to calm down, I prayed on the situation. God told me, “Don’t let go.” So, that’s what I decided. I was not going to abandon him like everyone else had over the years. I called, text, left voicemails… I did whatever it took to remind this truly good man that I, not his little birdy, am the one who has his back 100%. I had to reassure him that I, his soulmate, would never betray him… ever!
I never felt any anger towards him during all of this. All I felt was compassion. I realized then that this was a very strong man who had truly been wounded by his current situation. Not only is he in prison for a crime committed by a family member, but he’s been doing his time alone, with no one to truly count on. He had put up walls over the years that I, personally, as his best friend, have never had to tear down. But, now, as his woman, the expectations are higher, which scared him at some point. So, his human nature told him that it would be easier to just walk away now than to take a chance of me betraying him later. In his words, “That would be devastating”!
It takes a real man to admit when he’s scared. Once I was able to get that out of him, I was able to reassure him that this is the life for me. I chose this life, the life of The Prisoner’s Fiance, because he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I would never betray him. He is my world. As I tell him all the time, his last name will be on my tombstone. I cannot wait to be his wife. Betrayal is NOT an option!!!
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